Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
