I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Randomize
