Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
