i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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