Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
