I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
