What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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