There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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