Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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