the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
