your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
