all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
