It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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