Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
