i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
