so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Alive.
So much puke
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We are all done wearing pants today
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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