i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
