I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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