No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
