its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
