You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
