one two three fourrrrnication!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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