Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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