So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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