fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
