Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
