Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
