Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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