This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
