I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
