2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
