I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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