After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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