i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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