I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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