So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
