worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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