I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
