dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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