thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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