I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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