i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
