wakey wakey hands off snakey
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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