Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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