Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
