Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
