i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
