you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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