Your face is a jimmy john
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
