ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
