9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
